Yes! I'm going to do it!!

I get intimidated quite easily, about anything. Be it like, people or projects I need to get done, even talking to my own friends sometimes! = u =; it's really silly, and I want to change that. So I'm going to make a promise to myself now, I am going to be more productive, and live a fulfilling life. I think a lot of the time, I limit myself, because I'm so afraid of doing something wrong, or making a mistake, because I know the people close to me will point it out brashly. I think that's the reason why I became scared of messing up, but that's no reason for me to just stop!

I want to be able to be proud of myself. I want to be able to accomplish things I've wanted to for a long time. I have to stop getting so disheartened when I can't be like my idols. And I need to be less lazy and push myself forward.

This is a selfish wish, but I'd like to be a better person like those I've come to love tenderly over the years.

An ideal life, like the gentle cloud

I just get into these weird moods where I feel useless, dumb, pathetic and like, generally annoying to everyone. Now I know this may not be the case- and I don't like this ickiness that plagues me. I get so down after one bad thing that happens, even after 10 good things happen! And then I feel really petty for having those feelings.
I often fantasize about being a cloud.

It's strange, I know.

But clouds are fantastic. Soft, gentle and breezy. They are exist, yet they don't. I'd like to live a life where I can float along easily, quietly blending in with the scenery, sometimes beautiful, sometimes invisible. I think that would be a nice lifestyle to have.

On the otherhand, I seem to get these icky feelings when I'm left alone for too long, or go unnoticed. Then I feel like I'm just desperate for attention and I should get over myself- aaaand I go back to wishing I was a cloud.

I wonder if everyone thinks this way...
maybe it's just me ^ ^;