Yes! I'm going to do it!!

I get intimidated quite easily, about anything. Be it like, people or projects I need to get done, even talking to my own friends sometimes! = u =; it's really silly, and I want to change that. So I'm going to make a promise to myself now, I am going to be more productive, and live a fulfilling life. I think a lot of the time, I limit myself, because I'm so afraid of doing something wrong, or making a mistake, because I know the people close to me will point it out brashly. I think that's the reason why I became scared of messing up, but that's no reason for me to just stop!

I want to be able to be proud of myself. I want to be able to accomplish things I've wanted to for a long time. I have to stop getting so disheartened when I can't be like my idols. And I need to be less lazy and push myself forward.

This is a selfish wish, but I'd like to be a better person like those I've come to love tenderly over the years.

An ideal life, like the gentle cloud

I just get into these weird moods where I feel useless, dumb, pathetic and like, generally annoying to everyone. Now I know this may not be the case- and I don't like this ickiness that plagues me. I get so down after one bad thing that happens, even after 10 good things happen! And then I feel really petty for having those feelings.
I often fantasize about being a cloud.

It's strange, I know.

But clouds are fantastic. Soft, gentle and breezy. They are exist, yet they don't. I'd like to live a life where I can float along easily, quietly blending in with the scenery, sometimes beautiful, sometimes invisible. I think that would be a nice lifestyle to have.

On the otherhand, I seem to get these icky feelings when I'm left alone for too long, or go unnoticed. Then I feel like I'm just desperate for attention and I should get over myself- aaaand I go back to wishing I was a cloud.

I wonder if everyone thinks this way...
maybe it's just me ^ ^;

this cat...

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I've been seeing this breed of cat all over tumblr and some on facebook recently,
and like- why is it so popular?

It has all the elements of being adorable: big eyes, little face, tiny nose, fluffy

but to me, it just looks like it's scared of everything! Look at it's eyes, JUST LOOK AT THEM! It looks so scared and sad at the same time, and it's kind of freaking me out.

it's like, when loli girls wear HUGE circle lenses and manipulated make up to get 'anime eyes' but they just end up looking like freaky dolls. The manipulation factor is amazing that they could change their face so much, but they still look scary. (sorry loli girls, this is just my opinion q _ q )

but yeah... this cat. I'm not annoyed by it nessecarily, I just thought it looked a bit freaky is all.

the end.

I need to study.

Gemini

More often than not, people think I'm a lot younger than I actually am.
I don't mind really, like isn't it better to look young?
But it's come to a point where I'm actually nervous about revealing my age- it's not that I'm super old or like 30 or something, but to a lot of people, my interests and the manor in which I present myself may seem childish. I guess it has something to do with an unfortunate experience I had with a confusing user online earlier this year... i dunno @~@

But I've read that Gemini's (my star sign) are usually seen as more childish and people treat us like we need to be protected. I actually don't mind that - being looked after and taken care of. I mean, it's nice to know someone cares, right? But I guess what bothers me is... my true physical age. I'm a college student now, but I don't' feel like my life goals and interests have changed much since I was 16.

*sigh* I guess I'll just ignore it and not let it bother me, like I do with most things in my life ^ ^;


WELP, I'm off to 'be an adult' and draw muscles on some bones for my anatomy final!

I'm not dead!

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HEY EVERYONE! I'm sorry for not posting new entries very often!
Not that many people read, but to my readers, please forgive meeee!

But I'm totally okies! (aside from the occasional lonely spells)

SOOO! a widdle update on me~

I've been hanging out alot with my friends Sarah, Sophia and Jenna! they are such fun gals~ I'm missin' my number 1 bud though, but she's way busy, so I'll deal with it!

okies, so the otherday, my mother thought it would be a good idea to give my my first drving lesson (i'm 18 now... huuuurrrrr)
sometimes I REALLY feel like a spoiled rich girl, but I'm not rich....

anyways.... most of the "lesson" was me squealing and my sister asking to leave the car (she decided to teach me before she was dropping us off at the mall... Carpe diem I guess...)
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I ket breaking too harshly and a taxi almost hit me. I kept looking at the road and thinking "oh, where are we going?" and forgetting I was the one driving.

DO NOT LET SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF CARS DRIVE! But I guess that's a givin.....

So I'm about to go take my knowledge yest I guess.... my papi's really pushing it on me.. and he should, I'm 18 and I can't drive...

I don't know... lots of kids can't wait to run away from their parents, But I'm not like that. I love my family! they mean SOOO much to me! I'm sure I'd be fine on my own, but not happy.

^ ^ I guess I'm the kind of person who needs others to love to be happy. I just like seeing people smile.

SOOOO! Kit says, smiloe at people who look sad, you might make their day!
Hold a door open, offer your space in line! if we all do these itty bitty things, the world will be a nicer place~

alrighty, I'll try to write more from now on, and talk about mroe interesting thingies~

(how interesting can the life of a sheltered girl be?)

~Ciao (pfft, I'm not italian)