Today's Fashion

Mood: meh
Listening to: Rune Factory 3 ambient sounds ( my sister is playing)
I am: cursing my metabolism


So today, I took my sister and her friend to the mall for lunch. we walked around a bit and they wanted to go look in clothing stores, OBVIOUSLY! that's what a mall is FOR!
But whenever we enter these stylish stores, I get really quiet and feel out of place. why? Becasue of my figure. I'm supposebly an hourglass figure, but I'm definatly NOT SEXY! Recently, I've really wanted to step it up with my fashion sense and own lots of cute clothes! But that's hard considering;

1.- the style I desire isn't a very popular style in sotres around here

2.- Hardly anyhting fits the way I want it to.

It's, really, REALLY depressing when I finally find somehting that I like, but I can't even get it on without a stuggle. SO, going into stylish and chic shops always amkes me.. a little meloncholy...

So today I actually decided to try stuff on instead of moping. I found this cute, soft, top. I knew I wasn't going to buy it but I wanted to see how it would look none the less!

shopping sad
It was really cute and ruffly! but tonned down enough to look normal in public!
SO I went to try it on, which wasn't any struggle at all (it was a large, obvously) and...






well.....

this happened

shopping sad 2


...


FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T LIKE SPAGETTI STRAPS! I HATE MY FAT ARMS! AREN'T ONLY OLDER WOMEN IN LIKE THEIR 40'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE FLABBY ARMS!? I'M ONLY 18 AND I'VE HAD THEM SINCE I COULD REMEMBER!

SECOND OF ALL, I LOOKED REALLY WIDE IN THAT! I DIDN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL!
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE WOULD FRIGGN' NOTICE THOSE THING BEYOND MY MONSTER-SIZED BREASTS!

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhyWHY ARE BREASTS CONSIDERED A SEXY PART OF THE HUMAN BODY!? THEY ARE LUMPS OF UN-NEEDED FAT HANGING OFF OUR CHESTS, FORBIDDING US TO RUN LONG DISTANCES! (in my case at least)

I COULDN'T FIT IN A SHIRT TODAY BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET IT PASSED ME CHEST OR MY HIPS!

and afterwards, I bumped into a friend. she said I looked great and asked if I had lost weight. Whenever I hear someone ask me "have you lost weight?" or say "you've slimmed down!" I can't help but think How much of a fat lard did I used to look like, if THIS (refering to self) LOOKS SLIMMER!?

*sigh* and I felt terible at myslef since I wanted to go to the mall TO EAT! ( I had a spicey udon soup, but left most of the noodles, those have too much carbs and sodium. AND MADE MYSELF EAT ALL THE VEGGIES!)

So yeah, sorry for this fat-girl rant. I hope I didn't lower my image of me to you guys. I either need to like, live at a gym and never stop moving, or just come to terms that my body will probably never change.

ALL I REALLY WANT IS A FEW INCHES OF MY BELLY! THAT'S IT! I DON'T WANT TO BE SUPER THIN OR ANYTHING! I JUST WANT CLOTHES TO LOOK NICE ON ME! Q-Q I'm super used to not attracting boys and stuff like that, but I at least deserve to be happy with my own clothes...



right?

Comments

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wai babe
u hot

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Aaww cheer up ♥!!! I know how you feel but pls remember someone out there may want to kill a puppy to get what you have now ^ ^;
You can wear cute cardigans/boleros if you want and nothing too revealing. well i'm not quite a fashionista or something like that, it's just a suggestion based on what i see in some japanese magz.. no cleavage shown! maybe some legs but no cleavage! ^ ^
Good luck! ^ ^v

aaaaaa

ms. kitsunojo if you want to be slim you have to start by changing your mood to a livelier one (yes, even if you are lively now, go ahead, be more lively), anything else is just optional according to my experiences..

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